I have been ill all weekend; this has been a bit of a bummer for me because weekends are the only family time we get. As a result, my husband spent two days taking care of me and two small humans, as well as a house and multiple pets. I am sure that was exactly what he hoped for when he planned his weekend (some sarcasm could be sensed here). The entire weekend, from his perspective, went all wrong. The lawnmower wouldn’t start so he couldn’t cut the grass. He had to get dirt to fill the holes that our German Shepherd made when attempting to reach the earth’s core and our daughter decided to cause chaos outside with her canine best friend while he was trying to get work done. After all the yard work attempts, managing the household, making food, and trying to keep a 4 1/2 month and almost two-year-old quiet, trash had to be taken out. When my husband walked out the door, our baby girl decided it would be a good time to show her dad that she can lock doors. Our garbage bins are right outside the service entrance, maybe two steps outside the door, when he turned around and walked back it was locked. Now our daughter, the precious mouse of our heart, stayed in the mud room to wave and laugh at her dad as he banged on the window, hoping I would hear and let him in. Eventually, he cut his losses and walked to the front door close to the living room and knocked. I opened the door, with quite the look of surprise, and asked what happened. My husband explained the situation, to be honest I laughed. It wasn’t because it was my husband, it was because he looked almost as amused as our daughter. I learned a multitude of things from being sick this weekend. First, I learned my husband will not do the same things around the house that I will. He does not see the same priorities and if our child wears the same shirt two days in a row….no big deal for him but major deal to me. Second, I learned that our children will never choose me over their dad. He’s their bestie and it’s a fact of life at this point. Where this could make me feel all sorts of sad, I see this as a wonderful example of how great of a dad he is. Third, this poor man will not leave me when I am sick. He worries about my health, even when it’s something simple like the flu, altering his day in order to take care of me and our children. That is a stand-up husband and father right there. Finally, I enjoy just watching my family together. Being sick, and relegated to the couch, gave me the opportunity to observe my husband just really take the reins and be the admiral (inside household joke, he refers to me as the admiral at work). It is such a blessing to watch my husband be a wonderful father, an involved one. He knows every little detail about our children and its beautiful to watch. I feel so blessed to have him in my life and to be my spouse and the father of my children (yes, I know I’m gushing). The point is, could he have been mad that our daughter locked him out? Sure! He could have been furious, but he wasn’t. He laughed and picked her up to tell her that she was clever. Honestly, it reminds me of the father that God is. There are times when we lock God out of our hearts. We wave from the window, and maybe talk behind it, but we still keep Him at arm’s length. But like my husband with our daughter, God isn’t angry with us when we let him back in. God embraces us with open arms and reminds us how much he loves us. It’s amazing how God sees us and the influence that has on raising our children. As for our daughter, from now on, I’ll be bringing my house key just in case she locks me out.

As everyone has seen in my previous posts, we are a military family. As a result, I have not lived near my parents for almost five years. Guess who came to visit this week?! Yep, my parents, all the way from Georgia just for us! To say I am thrilled is an understatement. Isn’t it funny how, as parents, we find that we almost need or appreciate our parents more? We all have seen the Facebook meme going around that jokes about adults calling their parents more where their teenage selves would not have. I feel like that’s because as we get older, we see the value of our parents’ opinions. We value their wisdom more and want to share the pieces of our lives. When anything happens with my children or us, the first people I call are my and my husband’s parents. I value their opinion, their wisdom, the knowledge that has come from living the life of a thirty-something year old couple with young kids. I appreciate knowing that our parents are supportive and want nothing more than to see us succeed. I can say that our children are enjoying their nonny and pawpaw, and I am so blessed to witness my parents enjoy being grandparents. (Which, in my case, means lots of cookies and m&ms for the toddler, lol). When we were told by God to honor our parents, I think it means more than obedience. I believe he wanted us to cherish and learn from parents with good foundations and to develop good foundations ourselves. As parents, we are called to train and raise up our children. If we do that successfully, then they will honor us in their actions with the rest of the world as we honor God with our actions. We all stumble and fall, but parenthood isn’t perfect. Motherhood is messy and unpredictable, but at least I have my village and our parents who help me put the little things into perspective.

I have been very fortunate to have a great deal of help and encouragement while at our new duty station. We moved back to my husband’s home, giving our beloved babies the opportunity to spend time with nana and papa. Nana and Papa are popular in our household, and the children constantly show a great deal of joy when they see them. To be completely honest, I have a great deal of joy when I see them. It’s a great deal of relief to have another set of hands with our sweet girl. I also get to observe how a seasoned mom, with more patience than I have in my whole body in her pinkie, works with my strong headed little love. For me, I take this time to follow the leader. I listen to the words, intent, connotation, and effort behind the interactions between Nana and our toddler. Each experience shows patience, firm (yet kind), and provides opportunities for her to choose consequences for herself. Our daughter gets options and feels like she has some control, and Nana guides her to the right path. Watching how my mother in love (mother in law is not a suitable phrase for how wonderful she has been to me and treated me like her own) work with our little one gives me hope that I can do the same. I can work with our baby with the same love and patience that she exudes when working with not only her grandchildren but also helping her children as well. I am able to see an example of God’s love and grace from mom to her family, and that gives me hope that one day I can follow her lead and, ultimately, God’s lead to be the best mother I can be. For now, like our daughter follows my lead, I will follow mom’s.

When I imagined our children, I envisioned calm, tiny humans who would play nicely and read quietly. Little people who had sweet manners and shared well with others. The darlings I received are a little different. Our two year old is opinionated, boisterous, and enjoys seeing how far she can push the envelope before there are consequences. Our son is calm and determined. He wants to catch up to his big sister and be on the move. He is not nearly as large in personality (yet) and appears to analyze the world around him. I was afraid when I had another child that I would not know how to reconcile the differences between them. I was worried I would not know how to treat our children equally, but that’s where the wisdom of other mothers came in. It’s impossible to treat kids equally. They are different people. Our daughter and son are very different individuals who need different things from me. Our daughter is in a phase of idealized independence, and our son is a baby who wants nothing more than to be constantly snuggled. The best way to address our children is to love them for who they are. It is important to meet them where they are and to address their individual needs. If we truly think about it, that’s how God treats us. God wants a personal relationship with us (like we want with our children). God wants us to come to him, day or night, and bring our emotions to him (like we want to share our children’s joy, pain, love, etc.). God wants to meet us where we are and help us (just as we want to for our own children). God is the perfect parent who wants the best for His children, and we are designed in his image. I pray to see our children through God’s eyes and give them the same grace He gives me.