Our church service was wonderful (as always) today. We talked about Jesus’ statements about himself. I never knew there were seven I statements directly from Jesus about who he is in the Gospel of John. Today was John 8:12, where Jesus stated that “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life. ” Now, this is a verse I have heard a million times, but until today, I never knew what it meant. Our pastor (Brian) amazingly explained that human nature and the world itself are dark, and Jesus is the only light of the world. It all begins and ends with God, and our role in this world is to reflect his light. Brian told us that the church is meant to be like the moon and reflect the light of Jesus. I think of myself and our family in terms of water. It’s reflective, can be shallow or deep, but filled with various parts (fish, plants, coral, rocks, trash), and these parts of us are covered in darkness. But when light hits the water, a beautiful thing happens, and light radiates off of the water. The light penetrates the water, and much of the darkness is removed. The water is clear and beautiful, and the best parts of the water can be seen in many areas. God can take the garbage of our lives (sin, anxiety, doubt, depression, anger, bitterness, generational trauma, PTSD….) all of our broken parts will be restored and healed if we give these pieces to God. All we have to do is accept and welcome the light of the world into our hearts and let it consume us, rather than us consuming ourselves, and we can live without darkness. I am an ocean that contains places of darkness (pain, anxiety, doubt). The light hits these pieces of my life that need to be cleaned and healed in order to reflect Him. As the garbage is removed and the darkness begins to clear, I can reflect God’s amazing light to the world. Part of this messy motherhood I have is letting God heal the brokenness and entrusting him with my family, the husband, and the children I prayed for so dearly. It means walking towards the hard things and trusting that God has us in His hands. Messy Motherhood is not just funny stories. It’s being in the weeds with our children and raising them to follow God and to be good, loving human beings who reflect the light of the world.