Marriage is difficult. Like anything else, a relationship is work. What happens when you feel like you’re the only one putting in the effort?

All marriages hit rough patches, but sometimes it feels like you’re trying harder than your spouse. In those periods of life, take a step back and consider a couple of things

1. What is the temperature of your heart? This means checking for resentment, anger, disappointment, sadness, or other uncomfortable feelings towards your spouse. Doing this can tell you what your heart posture is.
2. Where are the feelings coming from? Is there an increase in stress in home, work, or other areas of your life? Has there been an experience with your spouse that triggers a past experience that is painful?
3. Have you spoken to your spouse about your feelings? Sometimes, we feel like our marriages are in an unhealthy state, but our spouses don’t. Sharing feelings in healthy ways can encourage open dialogs to uncover problems and solutions.
4. When was the last time you spent time together? It’s important, even when having children, to make time for yourself and your spouse as well. It’s easy to disconnect with your spouse (and even yourself) by not consciously making time.

Above all, it’s hard to judge the heart of your spouse and their effort towards your marriage. Communication uncovers a multitude of assumptions. Marriage is a team effort, with individuals who