Content note: This post includes discussion of infertility, pregnancy loss, grief, and complicated feelings around Mother’s Day.

As mentioned in previous posts, I have two children. Our daughter is going to be two years old at the end of the month, and our son will be six months old. Mother’s Day is not exactly my favorite day of the year. With having lost mothers and the complicated feelings surrounding that, and in some ways, my mother, as a person, I’m not the biggest fan of the day as a whole. With that in mind, as well as the years I spent yearning for children and loss of pregnancies, I shut myself off from the holiday. Sure, I celebrated others, but I did not have much hope for my own celebrations. The first mother’s day, when I was pregnant with our daughter, I was caught up in the Hallmark version of the holiday. I thought I would have this huge perfect day, and it wasn’t. My husband had to take a shipper to MEPS, and I was on bedrest. The following Mother’s Day, I announced to the world that we were expecting our son. This Mother’s Day, we are fresh out of a hospital stay for my husband due to concerns about head pain. None of this is a Hallmark, movie perfect, holiday moment (other than being pregnant with our son last year, that was great). The problem was that I was looking at Mother’s Day from a worldly and admittedly selfish social media view. The gifts are not jewelry, flowers, clothes, or a big brunch. The true gift is my children, the little humans who made me a mother. That is the best gift, one that I desired and waited on for such a long time. Is it nice to be appreciated, of course, but at the same time, material gifts are just stuff. What is important, the gift that truly matters, is love. I am rich in that! I have children who love me and often mimic what I do. I have a husband who views me as a priority and puts me above himself. I have family and friends who give me the gift of their time, whether in person or over the phone. But most of all, I have the love of God. What more is there? What greater gift could I receive? No holiday is perfect. Movies, social media, and television, all of these things place a burden of perfection on our lives that we will never meet. Life is messy and beautiful, but by not sharing that with others, we are stuck in the comparison game. So my Mother’s Day, much like my everyday life, has been chaotic, busy, and messy, but overall, wonderful. Did I get flowers, gifts, and recognition? Yes, but that’s not what means the most to me. The hugs, hand holding, kisses, and being followed around our house, hearing Mama, have been the best part of my day. So, a big thank you to my husband for marrying me and giving me our wonderful children and thank you to my children for loving me. Most importantly, thank you, God, for the opportunity to be a wife and mother. It has been my favorite role in my entire life.