Content note: This post discusses a spouse’s hospitalization, medical uncertainty, and fear surrounding a loved one’s health.

My husband is a very healthy person overall. This man’s immune system has the protection ability of Fort Knox, and nothing ever sends him to a doctor other than a physical. Imagine my surprise when we ended up with three emergency room visits and, what is so far, a 5 day hospital stay due to head pain. It started with his PRT on Friday and has gone up and downhill since, mostly downhill since Monday. As a wife, I am afraid. I am not called to be afraid. In fact, God says fear not 365 times in the Bible, but I am human with plenty of emotions as well as regrets. When you watch your husband in the hospital in pain without answers, it’s amazing how meaningless the little things that bother you become. Complaining about trash not being taken out, leaving socks by the bed, or forgetting kitty litter is so miniscule compared to what we are experiencing now. As I sat by my husband’s side and paced the room, praying during testing, I realized how small and insignificant these problems are. As much as I love my husband, sometimes I forget that he’s not perfect and does not do everything the way I would. I take for granted that I will always have my husband by my side. I get comfortable, and I don’t always appreciate Mark for who he is and what he does every day for our family. In this week, this moment, I see what is truly important in my life and marriage. The time I have with my husband is a gift. It’s not guaranteed, so I have the option to either spend the gift of time nagging at him for everything that I think he could do better or, I can cherish the man God gave me and love him for who he is. I am glad that I learned this lesson early, I am grateful that God showed me the error of my ways and my sin of anger and bitterness (sometimes) towards my husband regarding unimportant things such as forgetting to bring the lunch I made him or having to work late. These things don’t matter. What matters is being together and loving each other despite our flaws because we are two imperfect people joined together by God. I pray that you take this lesson from my experience and remember that none of us are perfect. We have our idiosyncrasies, but God joined you together for a purpose. Marriage is two people giving 100% of themselves to each other, the good and the bad. Please remember that love is a choice that we make every single day and never go to bed (or leave) angry because you never know what tomorrow brings. If you could say a prayer for my husband, I would appreciate it dearly because I know God can heal him. “The Lord sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness” Psalm 41:3. As for me tonight, I will continue to pace the floor in my husband’s hospital room, with Thanksgiving and hope in my heart because God will bring us through this season.