Content note: This post includes discussion of infertility.

Have you ever had the same prayer as another person in your life and theirs was answered, but yours wasn’t? Well, it wasn’t that your prayer wasn’t answered, but you received a not yet, and theirs was yes? It’s painful. It’s hard not to be jealous when other people get what you are asking for, what you believe you deserve. I experienced this for seven years when I was experiencing issues with fertility. I was bitter and angry and felt like I was a good person who deserved good things. But when I looked at that season of my life from the outside, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t in the season of life to have a baby and be a good mom. I had so much left to learn about myself, I didn’t have the right person in my life at first, and I needed to heal from a lot of things. What felt like a no was a not yet. God knew I wasn’t ready. He knew there was so much more that needed to change in my life before I could be the mom my children need. God answers all prayers. Sometimes it’s a no, or not yet, but when the time is right, God gives you a yes. I still struggle with the wait and not yet. I am always in such a hurry, and when I want something, I fixate on it. Sometimes, I run the risk of making what I am asking God for my God. These are the times that I need to remember to take a step back, and instead of asking why not me ask what are you teaching me.