I woke up grumpy today. We were running late to church already and I decided that I didn’t want to go. I was frustrated. I felt defeated because of my physical appearance, I felt far from God because of where my head was, and I wanted nothing to do with any of it this morning. I feel like a walrus and have quite the terrible temperment about it. How am I supposed to pray for others if I can’t pray for myself? How can I encourage others if I can’t encourage myself. I told my husband I wanted to sit in the car and just listen to church online. I couldn’t bring myself to sit in his presence today, all broken and dejected. I wanted to hide from him until I could be polished again. As one can imagine, the story ended differently than I had intended. Mark told me to get out of the car and sit in the chair, he knew I’d regret my decision and wanted me to be in the same room as friends, family, and fellow worshippers. Our message was beautiful but a little hard for me because thos message required a lot of reflection about my life over these 32 years and what I want to place most importantly for however many years God sees fit to bless me with. There were tears, quite some remorse, but there was also an indescribable joy that everything in our lives could be redeemed if we trusted in God and asked. I left church feeling better than when I had arrived and with a hope in my heart that can only come from the company of God.