I think I should be able to do it all. End of story, if I think it, I believe I can do it. There is nothing more overwhelming then seeing something and being like “oh yeah, I am going to pour some of myself into that”. For most people, that isn’t a problem, unless you are juggling other things too. For example, I am blogging, writing my thesis, raising a two and almost one year old, prayer team member, Bible study participant, working on volunteering for NavyLine, devotional/prayer writer, and wife. Plus, I am working on homemaking skills such as baking to save money on breads, running a household, and just never not moving. I am slowly losing my mind, feeling like I am failing, and not ready to give anything up. See, my problem is thinking that I can do it all, be it all, and make it look awesome. That’s sin, if I am going to be totally judgy of myself for a second. I am trying to show off my abilities and talents rather than using them for God. Some of these things, my worldly self is like hey everyone thinks I can do it all flawlessly (Gold star for me!). On the other hand, I feel like I cannot show anyone that I am cracking because I set the precedent of throw on a smile, do it all with ease and never show weakness. I am not showing my children a good example of a Christian. If I am completely honest with myself, the reason I am feeling like I am failing is because I am trying it all in my own strength and my own way. God is the only one who can get me through the valleys and mountains in my life. My successes are his credit, and his forgiveness is my biggest blessing. By doing what I have been doing, I am not practicing what I preach and not really being honest. My talents are gifts, and I will use them as such, but I also need to know when to prioritize my family and not be so busy that I miss out on important moments. I don’t want my children to look back on their childhood and remember a clean house, but a stressed-out mom. I don’t want them to think about beautiful desserts, but they never made them with me. I don’t want them to wish that I took time out of my day to value them over my own pursuits. If my children learn anything from me, I hope they remember a mom that loves them, relied on God, and pushed through life with His strength, and praise in her heart. So, I will not be taking on new projects (outside of what I have) and I will restructure and keep my eyes on what matters most.